Trying to change people ... such an illusory ... stupid ... useless ... ridiculous habit by the well know romanian essayist Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Trying to change people ... such an illusory ... stupid ... useless ... ridiculous habit by the well know romanian essayist Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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I always try to change people.
In fact ... it's like a hobby.
And ... the worst is that i do it ... mainly with the ones that are closer to me.
I ... simple ... can't stop myself.
... believing it is a positive thing ... all what i am doing.
Later on ... seeing how i totally ruin my vibes .... explaining on and on and on and on ... i realise i had become like an old grandma ... saying the same things 1 million times.
I actually understand .... I am ... ridiculous.
And ... i do that non stop.
It's actually ... like my main ... occupation ... behaving like being paid with a huge amount of money for doing it.
But the passing of time ... made me realise ... with huge disappointment ... that all those stupid trends for changing people ... was useless.
Unfortunately ... i could not stop myself.
So ... I've continued.
On ... and on and on.
Explaining ... everyday.
Even ... losing my temper.
I knew that all that was repetitive was karmic ... but i could not understand if i was karmic for them .... or they were karmic for me.
All was ... unclear.
Meanwhile ... i was acting into the same way.
It was absolutely ... no change into my behaviour.
I didn't .... wanted.
... believing it is the best i can do.
So ... i was continuing playing the role of the ... old grandmother ... which couldn't stop giving advices.
Trying to tell people ... how they must change ... and ...
In fact ... it was always ... a long speech ... but no one was listening to me.
Somehow ... they all realised that i lost control on myself ... trying to control the behaviour of everyone from the stage of my life.
It was like ... i was playing a role into a non ending charade.
... adoring doing it ... even if it was ruining my vibes.
The question remained ... when i was going to stop myself?
Well ... maybe never.
I was ... ridiculous ... in continuous form ... and i did absolutely nothing to stop myself doing it.
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